Finnish men are definitely no Romeos
Updated: Nov 17, 2023
The picture above is a beautiful portrait of a Finnish guy. Strong, masculine, and enjoying himself in silence amid the cold Finnish nature. Cold does not bother him; he embraces it. If you want to picture yourself by his side. Here are some tips for catching one.
Forget about romance
Finnish men will not woo you with romantic words. They will not sing you a love song, more likely a heavy metal song. They will think that is the most romantic thing they've ever done, because it involves roaring their feelings out loud. They use powerful swear words of emotions. It might sound like they are mad at you, but they might be more likely madly in love with you. This usually happens when there is alcohol involved. Without the influence of alcohol, Finnish men are relaxed, silent, and peaceful individuals. Yes, you will get to know the daily Finnish male. He is calm as a toad in the sun, quiet as a mouse, and cool as a cucumber.
Practical daily things
Finnish men show their affection by doing practical daily things. They will cook you food, drive you from one place to another or even fix your Ikea furniture. They will do this because they like you and is interested in being with you. They will spend time with you even though sometimes they will stand by your side in silence and listen to everything you say 24/7.
The rarity of dating culture
You are lucky if they ask you for a date because Finnish men do not go on dates. Don't think of Pretty Woman; think of Levottomat. It is a Finnish film that describes the dating scheme of Finns. They will go directly to the second base. Yep, on the first date. I know that it is shocking to most foreign women.
I asked my Finnish girlfriends; how do you go on dates with Finnish men. They reply to me with a question about what dates. They never go on dates. I love that Finnish women are free to decide if they want to go on dates or go to second base. Finnish women will tell the man how they want things to happen, how they want to be treated, and their goal relationships. If they want to marry him, they will be the ones proposing, or they will tell him the date and time to put the ring on it. It is typically normal behavior if they do that on the first date. I guess it's because they are used to equality and straightforward communication.
Boundaries and Expectations
Finnish people also know their boundaries pretty well. They have a mutual connection about the word NO, which means NO. It still does not hurt to be careful. As an individual, you set and create your own boundaries. Some men will not see you as a Finn but as a representative of your culture. I know some of you might bring a relative or a close friend on dates, which is fine. You also have to show your side of the dating culture and explain things. Some Finns might back up, but some will even learn your language and practically be enthusiastic about your culture and heritage. These men are great because they will help you promote your culture. I have seen many Finnish men dancing, wearing cultural outfits, and enthusiastic about their wives' culture and identity. You might see Finnish men in different cultural associations promoting your culture in Finnish society.
The challenging first date
If a Finnish man wants to know you better, they will ask you for coffee. Foreign ladies, remember to bring cash because you will buy that coffee. Suppose you want your date night to include a fancy dinner, a movie night, or a dancing partner. In that case, you have to straightforwardly tell your potential Finnish date what kind of date night you are expecting. Please give him an obvious process about how you envision your date night, from start to finish. Show him your favorite romantic movie until he gets the hint. If he doesn't, tell him directly.
If they are interested in you, they will make it happen. Remember, they are more practical than romantic.
Bizarre dating experience
Some Finns will want to take you somewhere functional. If they're going to take you on a hike, bring proper clothes and weather-efficient clothing, and expect that you will go for that hike even though there is a blizzard. You should wear a wind jacket, outdoor pants and everything you need to survive in the Finnish forest. Remember, they love nature, the sauna, and silence. They will love the beautiful natural you. It is better than being feasted by mosquitos or freezing to death in the cold breeze.
If a Finn says, he will bring food. Find out what food he means, or remember to eat well before that hiking date because the main dish is typically the Finnish sausage and some weird potato dish. It's a culture shock, and they are very proud of it.
They might bring you to the sauna; to most foreigners; it is a massive "Nooooh." It will take many years to get used to, but bring swimsuits and don't look down. I agree that seeing naked women and men going to the sauna is weird. Some of them are even partners or relatives. It is the most confusing, most bizarre position a foreign woman thinks of when dating a Finn. Yeah, it is hard to swallow. Just accept that it is part of their culture, and you might understand it when you set up a family with him.
Are there any romantic Finns out there?
Finnish-style dating is mostly a turnoff for most foreigners. I have seen so many foreign women shocked by the experience that they never date Finnish men again. However there are some romantic Finns, but these guys are rare in the breed.
Nevertheless, after experiencing the first challenge of dating a Finnish man, you will find that Finnish men are reliable, trustworthy, honest, and fair. The practicality in their ways makes a stable and equal relationship. They will raise the kids with you, from changing diapers, household chores, finance, and everything in between to creating and building a solid connection for the future.
You might find a Finnish guy who will impress you with an actual date, a rare occasion. Congrats!